If you walk into mediation doing what you always do, you’re already behind.
Because when pressure hits, your habits take over.

Supreme Court.
Interlocutory application.
I was at the podium.

The lawyer on the other side stood up and physically pushed me to take the podium.

The judge saw it.
Said nothing.

Later, he invited us into chambers for morning tea.
I was the only woman there.
No lectures.

Just one point that stayed with me:
Our jobs put us on opposite sides.
That often creates conflict.
It does not justify contempt.
We are all doing our jobs.

That lawyer relied on familiar habits:
Conflict meant hostility.
Experience meant dominance.
'Certainty' (in his mind) meant control.

And that’s how it played out.

I see the same thing in mediation.
It's not rare.

Real behaviour:
Raised voices.
Aggressive tactics.
Threats made.
Focused on controlling the mediator, the other side and clients.
Clients losing their cool.
Lawyers posturing to “win”.

At any of these points, the law stops moving things forward.

What’s happening between people takes over.

If you haven’t prepared for that, you’re reacting in real time, with your client watching, your reputation exposed, and the mediation heading off course.

Same legal preparation.
Same pressure habits.
Same explanations at the end of the day.

If you want a different process and a predictable outcome, you have to prepare differently. 

I’ve put together a short mediation prep checklist that focuses on staying focused, in control, and intentional when pressure, aggression, and power plays show up, so you don’t get pulled into reactions that cost you authority, judgment, or outcomes.

⭐️Download it here before your next mediation tests you the same way.

Link to download HERE