The part no one talks about.

What happens...

After court.
After mediation.
After a hard conference/meeting.
After you make a mistake

You leave. The door closes. 

And you’re still thinking about it.

You go back over one or two things.
Not the whole day/meeting.

One answer.
One moment that didn’t meet your standard.
The moment you made a mistake/were embarrassed/said something not quite right/when you reacted, everyone saw it.

You tell yourself you’re just thinking it through.

And ten minutes later, you’re still replaying it.
Then again that night.
Then again, the next morning.

At some point, it stops being reviewed.
It becomes an uncontained replay.

Sometimes it turns nasty.
You should have handled that better.
That was terrible when you...
You're not that good. Imagine if people knew how incompetent you are (they soon will...).

Nothing changes.

The event/room is over.

But it keeps running behind the scenes.

And the longer it replays, the more it shapes how you feel about yourself.

Your belief in your competence.
How you approach the next task/room.
How clearly you think.
How decisively you act.

The question isn’t whether you replay.

You will.

The question is:
“At what point do you stop it?”

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