You get to choose whats next!

Most lawyers and barristers try to control everything.

Conversations. Negotiations. People. Even dissent.

I understand why. Control feels safe.

It's human, we crave certainty, want to minimise risk, manage optics, and avoid losing our standing.

But here's the truth: trying to control everything doesn't protect you.

It traps you in a never-ending cycle of anxiety and self-protection.

The belief that if you prepare more, plan better, or control more things, you can prevent things from going wrong.

When it's really armour, armour we use to try to manage vulnerability instead of facing what we can't control.

But that armour becomes our cage.

Not the dramatic kind — the quiet kind.

The one that builds slowly:

– A reputation that's managed by optics, not built on authenticity.

– Conversations aimed at domination, not connection and best outcomes.

– When dissent shows up, many defend harshly, try to shut it down by any means, or personally attack or diminish others, not just to be right, but to feel safe.

Every attempt to prove you're controlling everything often reveals what's really driving it — fear of losing it.

Aiming to control everything and the behaviours it breeds isn't something to be rewarded or applauded.

It creates intolerance, disrespect, and disconnection.

And at its most extreme — abuse, bullying, and intimidation.

This isn't strength. It's fear and insecurity.

And it's costing the profession more than we're willing to admit.

Online comments. Mediations. Courts, Firms, Chambers. Negotiations. Workplaces. Practice.

The truth is, we can't control everything, and the harder we try, the smaller and "protective" our world becomes.

We can't change or control what's already happened.

We can't change or control what people think, say, or do about us or to us.

We can't change or control every conversation or negotiation.

The only thing we can control is ourselves — our beliefs, our thinking, our actions, our communication, and our responses.

When people finally stop trying to control everything and everyone.

They reclaim their power and peace.

It's time to imagine - and create - better ways to succeed authentically in law.

One lawyer and barrister at a time.

You can choose what happens next.

👉🏻 👉🏻P.S. I'm putting together a small case study group of lawyers and barristers who want to perform at their best in high-stakes rooms and influence 75% of the outcomes — without the usual legal performance pressure, worrying you got it wrong, or 2 am replays.

Would you like to join us?

Email me at [email protected] and include "I'm in" in the subject line, and I'll send you the details.