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They're predictable.
Here's how to handle them without getting caught up in their drama.
For the most part, people don't understand egos.
When someone shows up with a big ego, we label them "self-absorbed", "full of themselves", or "narcissistic."
And you know the feeling: they walk in and the air gets heavier, eyes roll, and everything feels harder.
However, big egos are often born from emotions, old hurts, pressure, a desire to avoid looking incompetent, fear of making mistakes or appearing weak, or a need to appear in control or years of being praised or told they are exceptional.
Once you see that, everything gets simpler.
Every lawyer knows these types:
๐๐ผthe barrister who must be right — every single time
๐๐ผthe counterpart who gets louder and more combative the more you push back
๐๐ผthe client who thinks their instincts outrank everyone else's legal advice
A big ego is used as a shield.
Push it even lightly, and they react quickly: interrupting, talking over you, shutting you down, speaking louder, and becoming more aggressive.
If you react back, you lose your footing - and the outcome.
Three moves to stay cool when everyone else loses it
โ 1. Keep your footing
Let them talk.
Don't interrupt.
Don't mirror their tone, pace or volume.
You're not leaving them in control; you're preventing the room from overheating.
โ 2. Acknowledge what matters to them
People with big egos care deeply about respect and how they're seen.
A simple "I can see this is important to you" helps them drop their defensiveness.
โ 3. Ask questions that bring the focus back
"What do you think is the next step that moves this forward?"
"What outcome are you aiming for from here?"
These shift the conversation from ego to substance.
If things heat up, take responsibility quickly, not to let them "win," but to cool the room and conversation, so you can keep it moving forward.
๐Why it works
Big egos calm down when they don't "feel" attacked.
They stay engaged when you don't react.
And the exchange stays stable when you control yourself, not them.
Simple, but powerful.
That's real power.
๐๐P.S. Because high performance under pressure isn't luck, it's skill.
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