Are You Increasing Your Risk When Resolving Conflict?

I arrive at the mediation about 20-30 minutes before it starts.

I've had a coffee.

I've set intentions about showing up, communicating and interacting as a high-performance leader |mediator.

I've checked in with non-legal clients via phone.

I facilitate a short informal meeting with legal professionals.

The formal mediation begins:

• I give a short opening statement, setting the day's tone and focus.
• Legal professionals and clients may provide position papers and opening statements if agreed.
• The negotiations begin.

People's assumptions, stories, fears and limiting beliefs rise.

Roadblocks, frustrations, lowered trust and slow progress results.

People threaten to leave it to the judge to decide if they don't get what they want.

They believe that a judge will appreciate their reasonable efforts, and they'll see the other parties' unreasonableness. The judge will give them 'more' in court once they hear 'their story."

I validate and challenge parties' negative emotions and limiting beliefs and their involvement in the process.

They are re-focused on what matters most, what's possible and what they control.

There's headway; people are moving forward.

They make more significant decisions.

Trust has been built, communication has become collaborative, and decisions are made more easily.

They are even having some fun. 

The dispute resolves.

These are the best mediations that happen often.

But sometimes, it doesn't work like that:

• Parties are so stuck in their perspective and what they want… they can't focus on anything else because they think it is too risky.
• There are high-conflict personalities who fuel conflict
• People hold onto their fears and insecurities and think, "This won't work, I can't," and they aren't open to other possibilities or different ways to do things, think about things.

They dig in and aren't motivated to settle; they fight only to prove their 'rightness.'

The process then isn't as positive or fun as it could have been if people had focused on the things that move the needle.

The dispute doesn't settle.

BUT…

I still set intentions about showing up, communicating and interacting as a high-performance leader |mediator.

I am still satisfied with my efforts to help people take ownership and resolve their conflicts positively.

I don't focus on the outcome; I focus on my intention, possibility thinking, managing my emotions and performance in the process – I focus on what I control.

That's how YOU reduce YOUR risk!

This is a reminder that every day is a chance for you to be a high performer on your A–game so you can role model the behaviour you want others to follow.   Try your best, but don't beat yourself up when you fail; every day is a clean slate to try again.

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Louise