Law School + Practice Taught You Law—Not Influence
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These are the uncomfortable truths about influencing in mediation.
But first—let’s be honest:
Most lawyers and barristers aren’t struggling because they’re unprepared or unqualified.
- They’re under pressure.
- Carrying the weight of expectation.
- Walking into rooms where every word is scrutinised—and no one believes they can afford to look uncertain or not have all of the answers.
So they fall back on what they know best: legal arguments and the law.
But mediation isn’t just about what you know legally.
It’s about what and who you can shift.
And most lawyers and barristers were never trained to influence like that.
👉🏻Here’s what really happens:
- Most lawyers and barristers are faking confidence
- They stay locked on legal logic—hoping it will resolve the conflict
- They avoid saying “I don’t know,” even when it would build trust—because they believe they have to be perfect
👉🏻And they don’t prepare for the fact that:
People often react badly to bad news
When emotions are high, logic gets hijacked
Silence is sometimes the most powerful move
Real influence isn’t pressure—it’s shifting beliefs and behaviour
👉🏻So instead, they:
❌Let other people-and the room-control their thoughts and actions
❌Argue and lose control of how they show up
❌Over-rely on titles and force to influence
❌Focus on being legally correct—and miss the chance to move things forward
👉🏻They don't consider:
✅Emotions are contagious
✅Conflict is human, not just legal
✅How you treat people comes back—with interest
✅Legal skills are essential.
✅But so is the ability to read the room, name what’s not being said, and guide the room toward resolution—without ego or force.
🌟Bottom Line:
You don’t need to be perfect in mediation (I don't know any perfect lawyers or barristers - do you? 😁)
You need to be curious, willing to learn, human, and able to influence outcomes that others can’t.
🚀Join other lawyers and barristers who’ve downloaded the Winning Preparation Sheet—so you can prepare for what counts beyond the law.
Download HERE: www.louisemathias.com.au