Reduce Your STRESS With THIS!

When I was a litigation barrister, I knew the buck stopped with me to achieve the best legal outcomes.

Now, as a barrister-mediator (leadership coach), I know I can't absorb the emotions in the room to lead the process, so I can best optimise the results and performances.

As a lawyer, absorbing clients' stress and emotions may make you want to put down your tools, fight harder, distance yourself (not take calls or respond slowly to emails) or pass a client over to a 'friend' - as it feels like the stress on you builds and its feels too intense.

Before you do, step back and pause because this may be the most powerful move you can make.

I get it. A client unloads their stress, whether it's about family dramas, mental health struggles, or the financial burden resulting from the pressure of their legal proceedings. 

But here's the truth: avoiding these leadership moments will cost you. 

👊🏻 Not just in time, but in your leadership, reputation, and ultimately, your firm's success.

Here's what I've learned from experience:

Pause. Look beneath their words and stress (what aren't they saying). Ask:
 – "Was this the process the client chose?"
 – "Was I clear on the cost and risks?"
 – "What's changed since we last spoke?"
Communicating to understand what's underneath their stress helps you respond, not just react.

Draw the line - set boundaries.
 – "Given this new info, here's what I can help with."
 – "Here's what's beyond my expertise—and this (professional) will support you better (family issue, mental health issue, etc)."
No guilt. No grey area. Just clarity.

Hand back the reins with this new information.
 – "There are three ways forward: A, B, or C."
 – "I recommend A. But the choice is yours."
Empowerment starts when people feel ownership, not pressure.

Last but not least.....Set the anchor early - in the first or second client meeting:
 – Clarify their goals.
 – Lay out the costs and risks of each option you propose.
 – Map the path forward ONLY after they have been offered options and have made a clear choice.
- Change direction when necessary, and if possible. 

So, when clients' emotions rise, which can add stress to you, if you pick them up and absorb it, it will reduce your ability to lead them effectively during stressful legal proceedings or mediations, as well as their trust in you. 

Because you will amplify and exemplify stress as an expert lawyer, rather than as a trusted, confident leader. 
 
Ready to future-proof your career? Join my masterclass "Lawyer to Trusted Leader" - Future proof your firm; the leadership skills every lawyer must master to thrive without working longer hours. 

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