I Attended Harvard, and It Cost Me A Bomb– Lawyers, You Get 3 Harvard Strategies For FREE

Be The Trusted Leader Who Has Difficult Conversations (While Everyone Else Relies On Legal Arguments Alone And Wonders Why Nothing Changes).

I'm Louise Mathias, a barrister (ex-litigation), mediator (Harvard), leadership coach, consultant and founder of Lawyers Who Lead Blueprint.

After 15 years of watching mediations/negotiations unfold, I've seen the same pattern: great technical lawyers walk in armed with legal arguments and a position paper to match, then walk out frustrated and angry when nothing settles.

From my seat at the head of the table, I've watched expert barristers provide brilliant legal arguments while their clients glance at watches and opposing parties shut down. 

The room gets tense. 
Voices and emotions rise. 
Everyone digs deeper into positions.

"But I'm right," they tell me during caucus breaks. 

And sometimes they are - legally. 
Yet somehow the mediation stalls.

At Harvard, I learned that being right isn't enough.

 Here's what I now watch for - and teach:

✅Understand both stories. Ask, "What story are you telling yourself?" Get curious about their perspective and story - it builds an instant connection.
✅Identify your contribution. Ask yourself, "How am I contributing to this problem?" When you acknowledge your part, they're more likely to own theirs.
✅ Separate intention from impact. Ask to understand intention: "What were you hoping to achieve with that?" Then share how it impacted you, and ask how your approach impacted them.

Which of these 3 is the hardest for you? 
If you say all three - that's OK - there's no judgment here.

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